Packing...

By now most people in Brown County (the county we reside) are aware that the Gilliland family is moving to a foreign land. It's amazing how much unwanted attention a "for sale" sign in your front lawn will attract. But I guess it's fair when you live in such a small community. People seem to just know too. Just today, a lady whom for the life of me, never can I remember remotely ever meeting, asked me if I was excited about our great adventure? And to her response, I gladly smiled and said yes. So we're in that stage of transition. If you've ever moved before and lived in a small town, you know what I mean and feel. Friends and family seem to be satisfied now, it's like they've had time to process, and figure it's probably to late to talk anyone out of it. Yep, on this side of the mic, that's how it feels. And for me, this is par for the course. Most of you reading this probably never realized I was a professional mover...really I am. Since I was born until my senior year in college, I moved 7 times. And after that it only got worse. Since Wendy made our vowels, we have moved a total of 8 times, 15 moves in all!  And honestly, I think I might have left one or two out. I'm not sure, but I've often wondered if I was part gypsy.

Let me give you all a run down of our personal deadlines that we face. First deadline is August 3rd, when our 20x8x8 shipping container arrives at our doorstep. We will have just 3 hours to load it!  I'm sure Wendy and I will be completely relaxed on that day. As you can imagine, all that we own, or want to take to Uganda needs to fit in this space. Furniture, beds, tables, chairs, toys, clothing and all the Friday Night Church music gear and instruments will need to go. This is our one chance to take the big stuff, so taking advantage of this and getting our money's worth is critical. The cost of shipping a container from Mt Sterling, IL, USA to Kampala, Uganda, Africa is about $9000 when you include all the taxes and custom charges. I don't care who you are, that's a chunk of change, and so we are planning and packing well. Second deadline, October 15th, when all of us board a plane at terminal 5, at O'hare International to cross the pond to London, and after an 11 hour layover, we board one more 8 hour plane ride to Entebbe, Uganda, Africa. The time difference, 8 hours ahead.

So what are we doing now? Packing our home and stuffing envelopes filled with our support letters. I'm sure some of you reading will receive one. We are sending them Monday morning. As I mentioned above, our home awaits a buyer. It seems that both of our vehicles have been spoken for so praise the Lord for that! This money will help us to purchase transport in Kampala. If only our home would go as smooth. Wendy and I pray daily for this and would gladly appreciate you partnering with us in this matter. Honestly, it's good to have plenty of time between now and October 15th. Nothing is feeling rushed, and we are having ample time to think and process our moving strategy. We don't feel ahead or behind schedule. This I believe is an answer to our prayers and from the many that are praying for us daily. It's also giving us proper time to say our goodbyes. For this I am truly thankful.

I want to make one plea for Friday Night Church before our first deadline which is coming up fast.  We really need to fill our container with more musical gear and instruments.  If you would, for those that care to, please go to our "MONTHLY NEEDS" page and see if there isn't something you could do to help us out here.  Again, I need to have anything donated be at my doorstep no later than Friday, August 3rd in the a.m. so we can load it in the container for shipment.  But if you would prefer to make a donation via check or a one time online donation, please visit our blog page entitled "SUPPORT" for all the info you will need.

Thank you Thank you Thank you for all your prayers and support thus far.  Blessings.

In a Pit With a Lion on a Snowy Day

Mark Batterson recently published a book entitled The Circle Maker.  Good book and would strongly recommend this read for anyone deciding to do something crazy, ministry crazy that is.  I usually shy away from reading the same author back to back, but in this case, I'm real glad God led me away from my usual habits.

As most of you are probably aware, Wendy and I and the girls are moving to Kampala, Uganda to begin an evangelistic ministry called Friday Night Church.  We leave October 15th of this year, and we are scared.  We are so scared, we are scared of being scared. But God has clearly marked this time for us to go, and we are willing, so we must act.  I don't have time to share with you the severity of our scaredness, but in short, we are fearful of everything from our girls getting malaria, to just being plain lonely and everything in between.  All of these fears will probably rear their ugly heads in one fashion or another in the time God has us in Africa.

In the book, "In a Pit with a Lion on a Snowy Day" Batterson introduced me to a man in the bible named Benaiah.  Seriously, I thought I knew about all the heros in scripture, but this guy was never taught to me in Sunday school or Bible College.  In my professors’ defense, I did take advantage of all my "skip" days.  In second Samuel chapter 23 we are introduced to a man named Benaiah.   

"Benaiah son of Jehoiada, a valiant fighter from Kabzeel, performed great exploits. He struck down Moab’s two mightiest warriors. He also went down into a pit on a snowy day and killed a lion. 21 And he struck down a huge Egyptian. Although the Egyptian had a spear in his hand, Benaiah went against him with a club. He snatched the spear from the Egyptian’s hand and killed him with his own spear. 22 Such were the exploits of Benaiah son of Jehoiada; he too was as famous as the three mighty warriors. 23 He was held in greater honor than any of the Thirty, but he was not included among the Three. And David put him in charge of his bodyguard. " 

After reading this, the first thought that came to my head was when Brad Pitt slayed the giant in the introductory scene of the movie "Troy".  Killing a giant is one thing, and a feat that most of us will never be able to understand, but killing a lion in a pit on a snowy day, that's on a whole different level.  I would like to go so far to say, it's not even in the same ballpark.  Can we all agree that Benaiah's brain seemed to be missing a key God given element, fear?  This guy was fearless!  Even King David never killed a lion in a pit on a snowy day...at least his lion was in broad daylight and his feet were on secure ground.  Yeah, I'm quite sure that King David read his resume and the pit and snow details caught his attention.  

Here's the point Batterson is trying to get across and something that God is beginning to instill in me:  Benaiah was a lion chaser, he loved guaranteed uncertainty.  Did Benaiah ever have doubts, did he ever have fears...yes I'm sure he did.  But did he allow his fears to take his eyes off his Lion, never.  

Most of us out there are not Lion chasers, and by the looks of most men's faces, we stopped chasing our lions a long time ago.  Maybe it was when someone told us we couldn't do it.  Maybe it was when someone disappointed us.  Maybe it was when a loved one died.  Maybe it was when life hit us hard, and everyone around thought we should take the 9-5 job that seemed at the time "the right thing to do", the safe way out.  I don't know, but what I do know for sure, is that most of us have given in to our fears.  And we hate it...we just hate it.  Only one thing holds us back, FEAR.  That's it, nothing else.  The fear of the unknown, of risky possibilities, of failure, and of embarrassment.  

I need to be transparent here...I am fearful of all the above, truly I am.  But one thing I fear more than any of these, is the fear of regret.  One day when I stand before Jesus and He asks me, "Todd, what did you do for Me?"  My one desire is to answer with complete confidence that I took every risk and conquered every fear and that I chased my lion with reckless abandon for the sake of the one thing I love more than anything else, the Gospel.

So we are going to Uganda, going with complete confidence that God will have His way.  I know, I must be a little crazy to take my most precious possessions half way around the world to a foreign land, but so was the Father, when He gave up his one and only Son for you and me.  Am I calling God crazy...yeah He's crazy in love with you and me

Our Decision

More than 2 years ago God laid a burden on my heart for full time ministry.  During that time, both Wendy and I have prayed almost daily for God to unveil His supreme will in our lives.  And because He is faithful, that burden became a passion, and that passion a calling, and the calling a conviction that neither of us can now shake.  

So on Monday, June 25th at approximately 12:30pm, we sat down in that all familiar brown beaten up leather chair and prayed once again.  "God we are yours, please do with us as You will."  When we opened our eyes and looked at one another we both knew.

In the ever popular devotional "My Utmost for His Highest", Oswald Chambers words simultaneously convicted Wendy and I.  Literally, we had been driving for most of the morning when I encouraged Wendy and get out my tab and read for me June 18th's reading from MUFHH.  She wondered why the 18th, being that it was the 21, but she read it anyways.  Just so all of you catch how impactful it was to us, I would strongly recommend you grab a copy and read June 18th's devo.  In short, Oswald refers to Matt 14 (Peter walking on the water) and asks why Jesus choose not to allow Peter to walk all the way to him with out sinking.  At first, Peter never saw the waves, never crossed his mind that he could have drowned by stepping out of the boat.  He just saw his friend, his eyes were on his Lord.  But then we all know what happened next.  When we take our eyes off Jesus, the waves and storms of life seem to be overwhelming.  We become paralyzed with doubt and fear takes over.  

"If you debate for even one second when God has spoken, it is all over for you.  Never start to say, Well, I wonder if He really did speak to me?  Be reckless immediately-totally unrestrained and willing to risk everything- by casting your all upon Him."  Oswald Chambers.

 I have to give complete credit to a good friend of mine Brent McCammon.  For some reason he felt I needed this reading from Oswald and emailed me the morning of the 21st as we were driving back from vacation.  Brent told me he had been reading my blog and sensed a bit of fear in my writing...He was right!  Funny thing, I had been reading this devotional almost every day for the last 3 months, and for some reason had skipped over June 18th.  So when Wendy read it out loud for the both of us it was the first time either of us had ever read it.   Thank you Brent for listening to the Lord.  

So I told Wendy to read it again, and she asked why?  I just said, "Read it again."  Wendy didn't even finish the second paragraph and I noticed tears streaming under her sunglasses.  What she didn't know is that God allowed for tears to flow out of me as well.  It was at that moment, we both knew our calling became much more.  Our calling became our conviction.  

More details to come...  

Back from Uganda

Wendy and I returned from Uganda on the 5th of this month.  An 8 hour time difference does things to your body and mind one can't explain until you have experienced it.  By the time we left Micah's home (the pastor of UCF), we reached our girls and pillows 30 hours later.  The human body can only take so much, and I'm afraid Wendy and I were at our personal limits.  But now that a few days have passed, our wits are back and we are refreshed once again.

So what is verdict?  What are the Gilliland's going to do?  These are the questions we have been bombarded with since our return.  Wendy and I fully expected to have an answer for our family and friends before we even stepped foot back on American soil.  "They deserve to know", I thought, so we need to give them something, we need to tell them something!  That's when frustration began to set in, and the doubts shortly followed.  One of the many lessons we have learned thus far in this journey is to never try to decide ANYTHING while you are under extreme exhaustion and are consuming airline food.

What are we scared of, what is making our faith falter?  A simple question deserves a simple answer.  We both fear being alone and so far away from our loved ones.  Did I mention it takes 30 hours get back home?  We fear our girls won't cope well.  We fear the days of regret, we fear the moments of depression.  We fear that God might have us there for the long haul.  Why do most people that GO put a time limit on there time away?  Would they so the same in a new job opportunity here in the states?

BUT...

We serve a God that brings peace even in the midst of valleys, and for that we will build our faith upon.  We will trust Him with our all, no more sprinkling on Jesus to our daily lives.  Faith never looks to far back and never to far ahead.  We will walk where He calls, and for now He is calling us to be faithful with what we know and what we have.  We have three precious lives that are all gifts from our Father whom loves us more than we could ever love each other.  We cannot fathom His endless love.  There is freedom in giving Him your all.  Your all includes your all.  Everything must be His, even your fears, even my fears.      

Terminal 5

Wendy and I just got through security at Ohare international.  Four 50 pound bags of goods were checked and we are still carrying 2 guitars (a bass that Ben Ellefritz graciously purchased and my Gibson) along with 2 back packs.  We are “locked and loaded.”  As I look out over the miles of tarmac all I can think about is getting there, and the thousands of gallons of jet fuel it must take to fly all of us in terminal 5 to our foreign destinations.  

Am I the only one to ever ask if Jesus lives in international terminals?  There are at least 500 people sitting in a 100 foot radius of Wendy and I.  How many of them know Jesus?  I’ve often had this thought.  The feeling only strengthens when the terminal’s on foreign soil. 

So for those that read this post, Wendy and I thank you for your prayers and support.  Our girls are in good hands and for that we are truly blessed.  Phil. 4:6-9 says not to worry, that Christ displaces the worry at the center of your life!  What a promise that is; I will circle that!  If you keep reading Paul goes on to talk about filling your minds with true and noble things, things to praise, not to curse.  And here’s the best part, if you do these things God “will work you into His most excellent harmonies.” (The Message)  Being a musician I can really connect with this language.  When I listen to a song, especially live and the band or group nails it, there’s something magical and almost spiritual that happens. 

My cousin Sam graciously gave us a ride to the airport today.  This is something he has done quite often as of late…thank you Sam!  When we see each other we always exchange hugs, and in the 20 minute drive from his home, try to catch up with one another.  Sam said something today that stuck out and has stuck to my mind.   “When we decide to write our own story, the ending always turns out void, and with little or no fulfillment. But when we begin to live out God’s story, happy endings are guaranteed.”  Yes they are, for the war has been won and we are free to live so.  Next time you see a fellow Christian frowning for no particular reason, tell him to remind his face of the love of Jesus.  

"You are loved for who you are, not for what you do."

One of my favorite quotes written in this century comes from a man named Brennan Manning. I'm not sure if he was the originator or just coined the phrase, "God loves you just as you are, not who you should be, because no one will ever be as they should be."  I have borrowed this phrase many times to encourage those that need to be assured of the love of God.  And every time it rolls off my tongue, God reassures me that He loves me for me.

Lately God has placed another encouraging phrase on my heart similar to the one I shared above.  "You are loved for who you are, not for what you do."  Just this week alone, I have been able to share this phrase to many people that God has put in my path.  And not one of them doesn't respond with out a smile and a thank you.  It's almost like God is purposefully placing individuals in the proper place and at the right time.

I recently placed a post about raising girls that received a lot of attention, statistically speaking. There were almost 150 views in just one day of the post!  And it got me to thinking, I guess I'm not the only one that struggles with parenting and that has a true desire to become better.  So with that, can I suggest one more key element in raising both boys and girls?  Make sure you are loving them for them, not for their accomplishments.  Here's something scary to think about:  Even 5 year olds know the difference!  They might not be able to articulate it, but they know.  To many parents are living through the accomplishments of their kids!  This is true, and may be true to you.  Wendy and I see it almost every single day.  It used to not bother us so.  But as we have learned the damage this causes to not only the child, but to a marriage, our guards have gone sky high.

Just yesterday we were playing golf together as a family and Annie, our 8 year old, decided to hit the ball a country mile.  She ran back into the golf cart and said "Daddy, did you see that, aren't you so proud of me!"  Before, my initial response to her would have been, "Yes Annie, I am very proud of you."  But instead I said, "Annie yes I am proud of you, but not because you hit the ball so well, but because who you are, you are my child."  Honestly, that's what I said.  There are moments in life that define who you are and who you become.  My three girls know and will continue to know, they are loved for who they are, not for what they do.  I pray that God shows you that your value doesn't come from what you do, but who you are, a child of God.    

Scouting In Kampala

Wendy and I leave for Kampala, Uganda on the 27th of this month.  The girls are staying with my folks, Wendy's sister Martha, and family friends, the Sefton's.  We will miss them, more than they will miss us.  Wendy and I will be doing a number of things while we are away, one of them being to scout for a place for our family to live.  One thing you should know, Wendy has never been to Uganda in her life!  But to her credit, she's a well seasoned third world traveler, and for that I am not worried one bit...OK, maybe a little.  Another item of importance will be to solidify all of the details regarding the ministry we will be involved with in Kampala.  Though most of the big picture items have been laid out in advance to us, the details obviously need some work.  So this means lots of meetings and fellowship with key people we will be ministering with and to.  More information to come on all of this soon, I promise.  But for now, we want to take this opportunity as a couple to explore every option before we make a final commitment.  Oh yeah, one more major detail of our trip I forgot to mention is we will be taking a short flight to Nairobi, Kenya for a few days to help lead "Passion Night"(a night filled with praise and worship, multimedia, and the spoken word).  This event will be held in down town Nairobi and is one of the out reaches that the church we are involved in now (U.C.F. in Kampala) is doing to help plant it's Nairobi fellowship.  Just in case you all are confused about how I am able to lead worship in Uganda and Kenya, they are both English speaking countries. And for the record, they usually teach me more new and upcoming worship songs than I teach them!  I wish you all could experience just one song in Africa...

While we are away, Wendy and I will do our best to keep you all posted in relatively real time.  Wendy will be taking lots of pics and video and a select few will be posted on our blog. Just want to say thank you for all of you that are following our thoughts as we share.  Your prayers and support are coveted.