Thursday, January 21, 2016

WHEN THE WANT TO OUTWEIGHS THE NEED TO...



I recently returned from a daddy-daughter get away with my oldest.  Emma is now 13 years, and has been since August.  A good friend challenged me (over lunch which he paid for) to take each of my daughters on a little get away when they reached their 13th birthday.  Now the catch was this:  it had to be anywhere they wanted to go and do.  This part left me a bit nervous; I definitely didn’t want to end up at the Mall of America!  Being that I was almost 6 months behind, I decided to take action immediately.

“Emma, how about you and I get away for a few nights, just you and me…and, you get to pick the place and activity?” 

“Well dad, I’ve always wanted to learn how to snow ski…you think we could do that?”  In my head I was thinking, “Wow, my oldest actually wants to learn how to do something I love and miss!”  It had been more than 4 years since I was last on skis, but for those that have skied often enough, it just takes a few runs down the slopes to get kick off the rust and training wheels. 

Now, Illinois isn’t quite the skiing capital of the US.  In fact there isn’t anything that even remotely resembles a mountain.  But, I had heard of this quaint town called Galena, which happened to be (based on Trip Adviser) somewhat ski friendly.  So with some reservation, we made our reservations. 

New Years day arrived and we were on our way, just Emma and her dad.  I honestly wondered if she really wanted to go, or if she was just tired of being home with her two younger sisters?  Time would tell. 

We arrived in Galena and to our surprise there were a few inches of “real snow” on the ground.  OK, this looked somewhat promising.  At least we weren’t going to ski in total artificial snow!  

The morning came early, and after eating about 7000 calories of make-it-yourself waffles…yeah, you know you gotta have one or maybe two, we headed for the slopes.  With the rentals buckled to our feet and poles in hand, I quickly remembered Emma had never, and I mean never been on skis.  It had been 20 years since I had felt the feeling Emma was having.  And then I remembered, SNOWPLOW…this is when one kicks out their heals in order to slow down and eventually or maybe hopefully stop.  The bunny hill was our first feat.  Within 30 minutes, Emma had conquered it. 

Next up was a green slope (the next to easiest slope besides the bunny hill) called “Old Mane”.  Let’s just say her first attempt wasn’t her best, but by the end of the day, she had all the “greens” conquered, and I was a proud dad. 

For those that have ever been or are avid skiers, you know that half your day is spent riding back up the ski lift, which gives you and your friends or my case, my daughter a good deal of time to talk and enjoy looking at God’s creation.  It’s also a time when your toes and fingers can and will become numb. 

Emma and I talked a lot on those two days of skiing.  I learned a lot more about her and she learned a little more about me.  It’s funny how much more a 13 year old knows about her own father, than he does about her. 

On our way out of town, Emma requested we stop at the local bookstore we had driven by several times right in the heart of Galena, the name “Book World”.  As we entered, I felt like I was in that little book store from the movie, “You’ve Got Mail”, not a very big world at all, but all the charm Emma and I hoped for.  And it was in this little bookstore that I found “Cabin Lessons”.  Mind you, I was browsing in the biography section looking for what my old college professor used to call “One of the dead guys”.  This is a book written about a man or woman that has gone before us. Or simply put, dead. 

Why in the world (in Book World), would a title such as “Cabin Lessons” ever be present in the biography section, I’ll never know.  Underneath the title read, “a nail by nail tale; building our dream cottage from 2x4s, blisters, and love.  To this day, I don’t know what caused me to grab it and buy it, but I did.  I left with a $15 book I really hoped I would like, and Emma left with a bookmark!  Makes me laugh when I think about it. 

Spike Carlsen and his wife Kat, in the book “Cabin Lessons”, decide in their middle 40’s, to buy a small piece of land over looking the northern part of Lake Superior, and hand build their life long dream.  Along the way they learn much about building a cabin, but even more about some of life’s greatest lessons…and 4 rules; rules that apply when building the cabin. 

1.  It’s gotta be Fun.
2.  There’s no hurry.  We have forever, so let’s do it right.
3.  We decide everything together and do as much as we can together.
4.  Hey, remember, it’s gotta be Fun    

“The first rule guides are minds; the second our hands; the third our hearts.  And the fourth?   Well that’s what the angel with the tool belt who whispered in our ears when we got side tracked, p.39”

I have no intentions or desire to ever hand build a cabin.  I can’t even make a bird house.  I’m glad God gave me friends.   But I have taken a liking to these 4 simple rules, and as of late have begun to try to apply them to life in general. 

Here’s what’s come of this little experiment thus far…I don’t take myself to seriously, in anything, about anything.  Besides, I’m one man amongst billions, seriously, one soul, only one.  God’s given me one life to live, and to live to the fullest.  A wise man once told me, “Todd, we won’t be remembered for the money we made or the things we acquired, or even the feats we conquered.  We will be remembered for how we lived and how we loved.”  And in the end, that’s all that counts.  


 Wendy and I have been trying to think of the best time, the best time to announce our return to Uganda.  We’ve dropped subtle hints here and there, but nothing official.  For those of you with surprise, welcome to the party.  Never in a million years did we ever think we might even consider the idea.  But God did.  God knew we left a piece of our hearts in Africa and I guess when I think about it, deep down, I knew it too.  I just didn’t know how big of a piece it really was. 

It’s taken us a better part of a year to come to this decision.  A good friend of mine shared he’d never seen me take this long to make a decision, even when it came to something of this magnitude.  This friend has known me since high school.  He’s also a board member of The Kissing Well.  In short, this was my response…

“When we left for Uganda the first time, we had no idea how deep the water was.  This time, we know exactly how deep it is.”  Still learning to swim, we understand the certainty and uncertainty of what lies before us (or underneath us!).  This makes me nervous and downright afraid at times.  Fear can either cripple a man or excel him…I choose to run, run to, not run from.     

That said, Wendy and I want to express our thanks to all those who have leant us a  helpful hand or a listening ear since our time back.  We also want to apologize for the moments we might have seemed a bit reclusive.  Sometimes a person just needs to be alone and think.  Processing and healing takes time.  Time alone and time with others. 

The other day, Wendy and I were discussing why we were going back to Uganda, and for some of you, maybe many, you might be asking yourself the same question.  This was our conclusion.  Besides the many arrows that continue to point us back to the mission, the many relationships, the children, the school, the staff, the warm climate (and right now, that’s a huge one!), the fact is, we want to go.  Do we need to go?  That’s a more complex conversation, but in short, the answer is no.  God doesn’t need Wendy and I to accomplish His mission at FNC, nor any of you reading.  But through out history, God continues to use human beings to be His hands and feet. 

As most of you might be already aware, Michael and Mariah (Co-leaders of FNC) are now married.   Wendy and I couldn’t be happier.  After all, two are better than one.  Last September, Wendy and I began the conversation with Michael and Mariah about the possibilities of what it might look like for us to return to Uganda.  We weren’t surprised with their enthusiasm.  We’ve always held a special bond with those two.  But we did make sure to ask a very important question.  Do you NEED us there or do you WANT us there?  We explained to them it was an even greater decision for us to leave this time than last.  Our girls are older, and that makes moving all the more complicated, not to mention a million other logistics.  They both spoke freely and we conversed about it over the next several weeks. 

The conclusion was this, “Better Together”.  Both Mariah and Michael have and continue to lead the mission and all 25 + staff extremely well.  In fact, in many ways they’ve surpassed us.  But at the end of the day, it was both of them saying aloud, “We are better when we serve together.”  That was enough for us. 

The last blog I wrote was entitled “1.0667 N. 31.8833 E.”  The exact coordinates (Uganda) our hearts have and continue to point to.  There are several factors that still need to come together in order for us to go, and some of them already have.  Unless God begins to shut this door, our plans are to be on ground as a family once again, full-time in Uganda come June 1 of this year. 

“When the want to outweighs the need to.”  The statement almost sounds irresponsible.  But when you put it in the context of following the will of God, there’s truth within.    

Wendy and I and the girls all covet your thoughts and prayers as we move forward.  In your prayers, if God lays it upon your heart to help us "get" to Uganda or would have a desire to help us while we "live" abroad, your generosity is more than appreciated.  I've rarely met a person who enjoys fundraising, but this time around, we're going to need some help.  Thank you to all who have and continue to support what God has laid upon our hearts.  

Todd G.  

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