SMALL TALK MAKES ME NERVOUS...

Why is it so hard for real people to talk about real things?  I’ve never been very good at small talk, at least I don’t think so.  Small talk makes me nervous.  What I mean is, I always feel pressure to contribute to a conversation that virtually is meaningless.  But in order to get to the “real stuff” I’ve found that small talk is very necessary for breaking the proverbial ice.  So I’m working on my small talk skills!  It seems though, people, especially many churched people, rarely get past the small talk.  Oh, they’ll converse about other peoples quote on quote problems or concerns, but getting them to turn the corner on themselves becomes more of a challenge. 

Was Jesus good at small talk?  I’m not sure if He was or wasn’t, not everything he said or did is completely recorded.  When I read the gospels, it seems like Jesus is always trying to make a point, constantly in a state of teaching even amongst His small talk, especially with his disciples.   And what about all the encounters with not yet believers, John 4 (woman at the well), Luke 19 (story of Zacchaeus), John 3 (Nicodemus, ok so Jesus was probably a bit tired for small talk in this one), and the list goes on and on…  Point being, Jesus went straight for the jugular, He wasted no time talking about the weather or the latest Soccer or NFL standings.  In every encounter He ever had with a not yet believer, Jesus’ one desire was to set them free from their burdens and chains. 

Now, we all are wired differently, some more bold or timid than others, and for that I am grateful.  But God never intended for His creation to just be a bunch of small talkers, never getting into the lives of those around us.  Small groups or community groups are fine and well, but why have we stopped there?  Whether it’s here in Uganda or back in the States, one thing seems to be scary for us to do, and that is to find that special individual and develop a one on one relationship, sharing in what God is doing in our lives and also the challenges that we are up against.   Proverbs 27 says it best when it says “As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.”  Jesus chose twelve, and from the twelve he intentionally spent one on one time with three.  The twelve were His small group. The three were His inner circle.  You and I are here today because Jesus decided come down from Heaven to live life with twelve guys, and pour intimately into three of them, and one of the three Jesus built His church upon.  Jesus kept it simple. 

Spiritual adoption seems to be the latest buzz-word for making disciples.  I’m not against the phrase, but I do think it leaves a lot of life out of the equation of making disciples.   Years ago, I ministered at a church that taught me the phrase, “Doing life together”.  Wendy and I long for that once again, to do life together with a group of believers, to share life, the good and bad and everything in between.  But even more, we desire intimacy with a few, to be able to share the deepest parts of our being with a friend that will listen and will love us for who we are, not for who we should be.  Yes, I believe deep down, every single person desires to be loved as they are.  Have you found that someone to do life together, and I mean really do life?  If so, you know how exhilarating it is.  If you haven’t, what are you waiting for?