Terminal 5

Wendy and I just got through security at Ohare international.  Four 50 pound bags of goods were checked and we are still carrying 2 guitars (a bass that Ben Ellefritz graciously purchased and my Gibson) along with 2 back packs.  We are “locked and loaded.”  As I look out over the miles of tarmac all I can think about is getting there, and the thousands of gallons of jet fuel it must take to fly all of us in terminal 5 to our foreign destinations.  

Am I the only one to ever ask if Jesus lives in international terminals?  There are at least 500 people sitting in a 100 foot radius of Wendy and I.  How many of them know Jesus?  I’ve often had this thought.  The feeling only strengthens when the terminal’s on foreign soil. 

So for those that read this post, Wendy and I thank you for your prayers and support.  Our girls are in good hands and for that we are truly blessed.  Phil. 4:6-9 says not to worry, that Christ displaces the worry at the center of your life!  What a promise that is; I will circle that!  If you keep reading Paul goes on to talk about filling your minds with true and noble things, things to praise, not to curse.  And here’s the best part, if you do these things God “will work you into His most excellent harmonies.” (The Message)  Being a musician I can really connect with this language.  When I listen to a song, especially live and the band or group nails it, there’s something magical and almost spiritual that happens. 

My cousin Sam graciously gave us a ride to the airport today.  This is something he has done quite often as of late…thank you Sam!  When we see each other we always exchange hugs, and in the 20 minute drive from his home, try to catch up with one another.  Sam said something today that stuck out and has stuck to my mind.   “When we decide to write our own story, the ending always turns out void, and with little or no fulfillment. But when we begin to live out God’s story, happy endings are guaranteed.”  Yes they are, for the war has been won and we are free to live so.  Next time you see a fellow Christian frowning for no particular reason, tell him to remind his face of the love of Jesus.  

"You are loved for who you are, not for what you do."

One of my favorite quotes written in this century comes from a man named Brennan Manning. I'm not sure if he was the originator or just coined the phrase, "God loves you just as you are, not who you should be, because no one will ever be as they should be."  I have borrowed this phrase many times to encourage those that need to be assured of the love of God.  And every time it rolls off my tongue, God reassures me that He loves me for me.

Lately God has placed another encouraging phrase on my heart similar to the one I shared above.  "You are loved for who you are, not for what you do."  Just this week alone, I have been able to share this phrase to many people that God has put in my path.  And not one of them doesn't respond with out a smile and a thank you.  It's almost like God is purposefully placing individuals in the proper place and at the right time.

I recently placed a post about raising girls that received a lot of attention, statistically speaking. There were almost 150 views in just one day of the post!  And it got me to thinking, I guess I'm not the only one that struggles with parenting and that has a true desire to become better.  So with that, can I suggest one more key element in raising both boys and girls?  Make sure you are loving them for them, not for their accomplishments.  Here's something scary to think about:  Even 5 year olds know the difference!  They might not be able to articulate it, but they know.  To many parents are living through the accomplishments of their kids!  This is true, and may be true to you.  Wendy and I see it almost every single day.  It used to not bother us so.  But as we have learned the damage this causes to not only the child, but to a marriage, our guards have gone sky high.

Just yesterday we were playing golf together as a family and Annie, our 8 year old, decided to hit the ball a country mile.  She ran back into the golf cart and said "Daddy, did you see that, aren't you so proud of me!"  Before, my initial response to her would have been, "Yes Annie, I am very proud of you."  But instead I said, "Annie yes I am proud of you, but not because you hit the ball so well, but because who you are, you are my child."  Honestly, that's what I said.  There are moments in life that define who you are and who you become.  My three girls know and will continue to know, they are loved for who they are, not for what they do.  I pray that God shows you that your value doesn't come from what you do, but who you are, a child of God.    

Scouting In Kampala

Wendy and I leave for Kampala, Uganda on the 27th of this month.  The girls are staying with my folks, Wendy's sister Martha, and family friends, the Sefton's.  We will miss them, more than they will miss us.  Wendy and I will be doing a number of things while we are away, one of them being to scout for a place for our family to live.  One thing you should know, Wendy has never been to Uganda in her life!  But to her credit, she's a well seasoned third world traveler, and for that I am not worried one bit...OK, maybe a little.  Another item of importance will be to solidify all of the details regarding the ministry we will be involved with in Kampala.  Though most of the big picture items have been laid out in advance to us, the details obviously need some work.  So this means lots of meetings and fellowship with key people we will be ministering with and to.  More information to come on all of this soon, I promise.  But for now, we want to take this opportunity as a couple to explore every option before we make a final commitment.  Oh yeah, one more major detail of our trip I forgot to mention is we will be taking a short flight to Nairobi, Kenya for a few days to help lead "Passion Night"(a night filled with praise and worship, multimedia, and the spoken word).  This event will be held in down town Nairobi and is one of the out reaches that the church we are involved in now (U.C.F. in Kampala) is doing to help plant it's Nairobi fellowship.  Just in case you all are confused about how I am able to lead worship in Uganda and Kenya, they are both English speaking countries. And for the record, they usually teach me more new and upcoming worship songs than I teach them!  I wish you all could experience just one song in Africa...

While we are away, Wendy and I will do our best to keep you all posted in relatively real time.  Wendy will be taking lots of pics and video and a select few will be posted on our blog. Just want to say thank you for all of you that are following our thoughts as we share.  Your prayers and support are coveted.

 

  

  

Raising Girls

Annie our middle girl, turned 8 last Friday.  You should see her dance, almost scary to a dad to see how talented and graceful she is.  Lucy turned 5 in March...Wendy and I are still trying to figure out where she fits into things.  One thing is for sure, she's a social butterfly.  Must take after her mother. Emma turns double digits this coming August.  What a little woman she is becoming.  Her smile melts my heart, and often my wallet.

I've just sat down with a new book published years ago entitled "Strong Fathers, Strong Daughters."  And for all the dads out there who really care if there daughters grow up loving the  Lord and not themselves, it's worth your time.  Wendy and I have now had almost a decade of chances to be good parents, and good is about all the credit I can give us.  Maybe Wendy would give us more stars, but in reality we could have done better.  But let me stop right there and remember how much grace God gives us, even in raising girls.

So what does a strong father look like?  In the book, the author mentions ten secrets (common sense stuff really, but often forgotten) to becoming a strong father...

1.  You are the most important man in her life
2.  She needs a hero
3.  You are her first love
4.  Teach her humility
5.  Protect her, Defend her
6.  Pragmatism and Grit:  Two of Your Greatest Assets
7.  Be the man You want her to marry
8.  Teach her who God is
9.  Teach her to fight
10. Keep her connected

"Protecting her and teaching her about God, sex and humility doesn't require a degree in psychology.  It just means being a dad." Meg Meeker, M.D. and author of "S.F, S.D."

Being a Dad...it seems that I have failed many times through out the last 10 years.  But can I tell you all something kind of cool, God in his mercy is showing me where I need to step in and be more of a dad in my girls' lives.  More than two years ago, God revealed to me that I needed to step up and take more of a spiritual role with Wendy and I.  And for over two years now, Monday-Friday we sit and communicate about the day before and the day ahead, then bow our heads, hold hands and speak to our creator.  Men, this was hard for me to initiate. But I did it, reluctantly at first, then Wendy began to want to pray.  Now we take turns, though I will have to say when Wendy prays I feel like God really listens in a bit more!  How has this impacted us...you could say it is wrecking all we thought we knew, and were holding onto.  God knew we needed to grow together a whole lot more before embarking on a journey like Africa.  I should state, we never prayed to be missionaries...at least I didn't!

Though Meg Meeker never came out and said it, her book implies it on almost every page.  I The best way we can love our daughters is to love their mothers first.  I once heard a married woman say that even though her husband wasn't very loving to her, she knew that he loved the kids and that to her meant he was a good father.  That woman is now divorced and her kids are lost in the middle.

So what is a dad to do?  Recently, I have taken more time in prayer to ask God to lead me to be a better dad.  And as you have already read, been reaching out to see what Godly men and women are saying about raising girls in the Lord. Strong Fathers, Strong Daughters magically appeared on my bookshelf...thank you Wendy.  The two TVs that were installed in our daughters rooms are now gone.  Internet use is strictly limited and monitored heavily. We have initiated nightly bible reading together as a family followed by prayer, something I should have done years ago!  And in case you want to know what a 5,8, and 10 year old like to listen to from the bible...we are currently in Exodus and moving forward through the life of Moses. Kind of strange when you are reading about a HERO that killed a man for beating another.  But again, God is wiser than we are... And now I have this blog to keep my feet to the fire.    

 

  

The Days Ahead

I once heard a preacher teach on 2 Timothy 4:9-22.  He said most of us don't pay much attention to the salutations of scripture (especially the salutations of Paul's letters).  It seems that Paul is always saying hello to particular people, and sending them his love or warning.  For most of us, we aren't even aware of who these people are, or what Paul is referring to when he makes comments like, "Watch out for Alexander the coppersmith."  Who's Alexander the coppersmith???  Sounds like a man with a cool name to me.

As Wendy and I are preparing for our next chapter, God continues to challenge us with his word.  I sat down today to read 2 Timothy.  The day before a good friend encouraged me to look particularly at 2 Timothy 1:7, and before I could hang up the phone my fingers rushed to the pages in my small fake leather Message bible. The message my friend had for me, was the same message written almost 2000 years ago from a man in prison written to his adopted son, his favorite son, BE BOLD. On the phone, I had shared with Nathan that Wendy and I were feeling a huge burden for the city of Kampala, yet the task at hand was daunting.  We were beginning to feel overwhelmed.

Be bold when proclaiming the Gospel is Paul's first point to young Timothy.  And when you begin to read 2 Timothy it was like Paul was setting his young apprentice up for a great word of encouragement, and for the most part that's what we read.  But then comes chapters 3 and 4...the Message entitles them both as "Difficult Times Ahead".  Though Paul doesn't spell out exactly what is ahead, he does make reference in his salutation beginning in verse 9.  Paul starts off by pleading to Timothy to "Get here as fast as you can".  He follows this up with those that have left him high and dry, and that the only one left is Luke!  Luke???  Can you imagine the company that Luke provided Paul.  Luke was a doctor,a perfectionist, not a friend that you would confide in on a regular basis.  The point here, Paul was lonely.  He desperately needed and wanted his friend Timothy to come an be with him.

Paul then asked Timothy to bring him three items, his winter coat, books and notebooks.  Paul was without.  After reflecting on these requests from Paul, I began to imagine being completely without.  For what would I ask for?  What would you ask for?

If God wills it, Wendy and I and girls will reside in Kampala, Uganda sometime late this fall.  I'm not sure the specifics of the emotional and physical toll it will take on us all.  But if I had to guess, there will be many moments of loneliness and going without.  Yeah, I'm pretty sure of it.  The girls will miss their friends and TV, Wendy will miss her sisters and her paved drive way, and I will miss our church and all the things that define American bliss.  Do they sell Kleenex in Kampala?    

 

I thought I should take a moment to explain what "The Kissing Well" stands for, and really what it is.  The Kissing Well originally was created to be a purposeful non-profit outlet for a company that I used to work for.  TNT Communications, now owned and operated by my folks, were giving monthly donations to all sorts of non-profits.  Along with supporting other non-profits, TNT gave to my personal mission work of Uganda, Haiti and India.  Many trips and the supplies for those missions were funded by TNT.  After some time and reflection we felt we wanted to be more intentional about what we were giving to and how we were giving it.  So we (Mom, Dad and I) decided to create our own non-profit.  After a year of paper work and the generous time of our attorney, The Kissing Well was born.

So how did we land on the name "The Kissing Well."  For most, the name seems strange, but for others they find it calming.  For me, it infuses my two favorite stories in the New Testament, John 4 (the woman at the well) and Luke 15 (the story of the loving father, or better known as the story of the prodigal son).  The grace and mercy that is shown to both the woman and the younger son is marvelous.  These two characters without question didn't deserve their outcome.  But because of the great love of Jesus and the Father, both are given a second chance.  I am a product of a second chance.  I am grateful I serve a God of second chances.