IN MEMORY OF ATWIINE SHILAH

A few minutes ago I had the privilege of holding a newborn baby girl in my arms.  Swabura was born this past Sunday, 22^ndof July. Her mom, who goes by momma Swab’s, has been a cook here at FNC for several years. Moments like these continue to be sweet, full of life, and joy.  

This past Monday, at exactly 6:35 a.m., sitting in the exact same chair, which held me as I held baby Swabura, another moment occurred.  This moment wasn’t the sweet, full of life and joyous type.  In fact it was quite the contrary.  Teacher Diana informed me we had some extremely sad news.  FNC lost a student, friend, and family member. Her name was Atwiine Shilah. Shilah was a young 3 year old when she first entered the gate of FNC.  She was just 5 years when she fell into arms of Jesus. Shilah, an only child, was full of life and displayed her love daily by showing others they were loved. She always shared what she had. Like bringing a small piece of cake each day to her teacher, teacher Aggie.  And when she was lacking, she always shared with us her smile.  This we will always remember.  

Uganda has taught me many lessons.  There is one I will never forget.  Life is precious, the time we have is limited, and one never knows when his or her time is up.  After hearing from the doctors who treated Shilah, the results were clear.  She passed away from Typhoid, a bacterial infection. Which eventually traveled to her abdominal area taking her little life away from us.    

The phrase “He gives and takes away” has been extremely overused and as a result diluted over time. But in the case of little Shilah and baby Swabura, the phrase seems rather appropriate. Shilah left this world on the same day and time as baby Swabura entered into it.  Does one ever grasp the depth of God, His understanding, and the reason He does the things He does?  Scripture seems to think we will never, this side of heaven.  It’s in times like these, I couldn’t agree more.   

It is now a little past 5 in the evening here at FNC.  A few of us are just back from visiting Shilah’s mother.  Good enough, we also found others from FNC who were also there. I was reminded how much love flows through FNC; I was reminded we are family, thus the reason for this memorial blog. Whether pain, sorrow, joy, or laughter, we are in this together.  Before you lay your head down tonight, would you say a prayer for Shilah’s family, and say a prayer for yourself.  Tell God how blessed you are to have breath, and for the day He created for you.  He loves you.  Though Shilah will be missed, we are confident she’s where we all want to be one day, in the arms of our loving Father.      

NOT THE SAME

There is a picture, which sits in the middle of my office desk here at FNC.  It is a picture of my family.  No color, just black and white and was taken in the summer of 2012. Along the bottom reads, “The Gilliland’s…Life is adventure together.”  The girls look so small, and I guess at that time, they really were. Wendy and I both look a bit younger, and maybe some days a lot younger.  Six years shouldn’t make much of a difference in the grand scheme of it all. I can’t say it’s the case for us. The past six years have turned our world upside down and inside out.  With out a doubt, we have all changed in one way or the other.  Truth be told, some good and some not so good. 

Living in a different culture long term takes a toll on a person, and the same toll is taken upon the family as well.  We’ve ever been asked, “When did you hear the call to go?”  The girls have their own version, which is pretty much spot on, “We didn’t really have a say.”  Wendy and I typically tell the story of a particular moment in the car where God spoke to us indirectly through one of Oswald Chamber’s devotionals sent to me by a long time friend.  That said, no one, or nothing called us to Uganda, not clearly and directly as far as we can recall.  

Over the years we’ve been awe struck by others stories who were “called” to go, and specifically to Uganda.  Every time I hear them, I seem to wonder if we really were called or not.  We’ve never heard a voice, never had a word (at least like others have had), yet here we are, in Uganda doing our best (most of the time) to serve and love the people God has placed along side this adventure. 

 As I continue to stare at the picture, I see five smiling faces, ready to go, fearless, yet wondering what’s to come.  Outwardly we have changed, but inwardly we have changed all the more.  Two of the three little ones have crossed the line into little women, with the third one being almost there.  For all of us, the things we used to worry about or be challenged with have drastically changed.  The concerns of life are different.  Our lenses have been forever changed.  Normal has broken to pieces and put back together with a new.  We’ve learned to live and not just survive.  We’ve learned God is here even when it looks like He’s not. Oh, we are not the same.       

But maybe, just maybe, that’s the point of it all…not what we are doing, but what God is doing in us.