IN MEMORY OF ATWIINE SHILAH

A few minutes ago I had the privilege of holding a newborn baby girl in my arms.  Swabura was born this past Sunday, 22^ndof July. Her mom, who goes by momma Swab’s, has been a cook here at FNC for several years. Moments like these continue to be sweet, full of life, and joy.  

This past Monday, at exactly 6:35 a.m., sitting in the exact same chair, which held me as I held baby Swabura, another moment occurred.  This moment wasn’t the sweet, full of life and joyous type.  In fact it was quite the contrary.  Teacher Diana informed me we had some extremely sad news.  FNC lost a student, friend, and family member. Her name was Atwiine Shilah. Shilah was a young 3 year old when she first entered the gate of FNC.  She was just 5 years when she fell into arms of Jesus. Shilah, an only child, was full of life and displayed her love daily by showing others they were loved. She always shared what she had. Like bringing a small piece of cake each day to her teacher, teacher Aggie.  And when she was lacking, she always shared with us her smile.  This we will always remember.  

Uganda has taught me many lessons.  There is one I will never forget.  Life is precious, the time we have is limited, and one never knows when his or her time is up.  After hearing from the doctors who treated Shilah, the results were clear.  She passed away from Typhoid, a bacterial infection. Which eventually traveled to her abdominal area taking her little life away from us.    

The phrase “He gives and takes away” has been extremely overused and as a result diluted over time. But in the case of little Shilah and baby Swabura, the phrase seems rather appropriate. Shilah left this world on the same day and time as baby Swabura entered into it.  Does one ever grasp the depth of God, His understanding, and the reason He does the things He does?  Scripture seems to think we will never, this side of heaven.  It’s in times like these, I couldn’t agree more.   

It is now a little past 5 in the evening here at FNC.  A few of us are just back from visiting Shilah’s mother.  Good enough, we also found others from FNC who were also there. I was reminded how much love flows through FNC; I was reminded we are family, thus the reason for this memorial blog. Whether pain, sorrow, joy, or laughter, we are in this together.  Before you lay your head down tonight, would you say a prayer for Shilah’s family, and say a prayer for yourself.  Tell God how blessed you are to have breath, and for the day He created for you.  He loves you.  Though Shilah will be missed, we are confident she’s where we all want to be one day, in the arms of our loving Father.      

NOT THE SAME

There is a picture, which sits in the middle of my office desk here at FNC.  It is a picture of my family.  No color, just black and white and was taken in the summer of 2012. Along the bottom reads, “The Gilliland’s…Life is adventure together.”  The girls look so small, and I guess at that time, they really were. Wendy and I both look a bit younger, and maybe some days a lot younger.  Six years shouldn’t make much of a difference in the grand scheme of it all. I can’t say it’s the case for us. The past six years have turned our world upside down and inside out.  With out a doubt, we have all changed in one way or the other.  Truth be told, some good and some not so good. 

Living in a different culture long term takes a toll on a person, and the same toll is taken upon the family as well.  We’ve ever been asked, “When did you hear the call to go?”  The girls have their own version, which is pretty much spot on, “We didn’t really have a say.”  Wendy and I typically tell the story of a particular moment in the car where God spoke to us indirectly through one of Oswald Chamber’s devotionals sent to me by a long time friend.  That said, no one, or nothing called us to Uganda, not clearly and directly as far as we can recall.  

Over the years we’ve been awe struck by others stories who were “called” to go, and specifically to Uganda.  Every time I hear them, I seem to wonder if we really were called or not.  We’ve never heard a voice, never had a word (at least like others have had), yet here we are, in Uganda doing our best (most of the time) to serve and love the people God has placed along side this adventure. 

 As I continue to stare at the picture, I see five smiling faces, ready to go, fearless, yet wondering what’s to come.  Outwardly we have changed, but inwardly we have changed all the more.  Two of the three little ones have crossed the line into little women, with the third one being almost there.  For all of us, the things we used to worry about or be challenged with have drastically changed.  The concerns of life are different.  Our lenses have been forever changed.  Normal has broken to pieces and put back together with a new.  We’ve learned to live and not just survive.  We’ve learned God is here even when it looks like He’s not. Oh, we are not the same.       

But maybe, just maybe, that’s the point of it all…not what we are doing, but what God is doing in us.       

  

HEAD FULL OF DREAMS

For more than two years, FNC has searched high and low for land.  Why? Because the current space we occupy wasn't going to be sufficient to bring up the children through 12th grade.  For the record, we are not abandoning where we are, just expanding into what we will become, Lord willing.  Simply put, FNC Academy will continue to run our day school here in Kampala, grades Pre-K through 3rd grade, then 4th-12th grade will expand into our new location.  This new campus will include boarding as well.  The new land God so graciously provided is located 17 miles north of Kampala in a small village area called Busika.  It is approximately 13.15 acres and has several structures already built on site.  A huge blessing as we intend to occupy them with our 7th and 8th graders beginning in January.

I'm sure many of you might have questions on how we are planning and when we intend to build the future school structures.  Those details are coming together and will be posted as they come to fruition.  One thing is for sure, God has been in this thing from the beginning.  Please pray as we look to Him for future planning and direction.

I want to end here and say a huge thank you for all of you who helped us purchase this place where miracles and dreams will come true for so many to come.  You know who you are... This is just the beginning of a long and fruitful journey, but one I hope you continue to join us on.  

Below are a few of the pictures from the land:

Main Entrance

Front Gardens

Main House

Main Entrance Roundabout

Pic #2 Main Gardens

Preliminary Boys Quarters

Future Site for FNC Academy Pic #1

More space for FNC Academy Pic #2

Food Growing Garden

One of Many Mango Trees

Too many Papaya trees to count...

COFFEE!!!

Oranges, Lemons, and Lime trees in abundance

Our little piece of Village life

Future Barn for Goats

Inside of Main House

Beautiful Wild Flowers

Preliminary Head Office

Many Kinds of Banana Trees (Jordan pruning)

Just love this Palm...

Ugandan Pizza

What is hope?  What does is look like, feel like, taste like, smell like?  For some, hope is having.  For others, hope is experiencing.  For me, hope is being.  In my 41 years, I’ve tasted much having and felt much experiencing.  Still today, these aspects of life continue. Everything’s a gift from God, even the most challenging moments, a lesson I have recently learned.  Reflection either brings regret or gratefulness.  I chose to be grateful.  But if I’m completely honest, regret sneaks in at times. 

When FNC was birthed, none of us ever dreamed it would evolve into a place of true hope.  Sure, we “hoped” it would become a haven where people were loved, especially children.  What we didn’t plan for and surely didn’t foresee, that it could be a gate into the hearts of so many more.  It has become hope for us, the parents, our community, and we are now realizing it brings hope to our teams who travel from abroad.  Just the other day, Solomon, one of our teachers and key leaders here, said it like this: “God is using this place to impact not just us, but those who come and love on us.”  I believe he is right.  

So is hope a place?  I don’t think so, at least not on this side of heaven.  Do we find glimmers of it, heaven that is, in this world?  I believe we can if we turn.  The only thing, which will remain eternal, is Christ’s Church, the only true hope for the world.  As many of us are fully aware, the global church consists of people from every tribe, tongue, and language.  When true hope is presented, the hope Christ spoke of and lived out, we, the Church are at it’s best.  

Yesterday evening Wendy and I broke bread with Brad and Pam, a couple who have dedicated the rest of their lives serving others.  From construction to evangelizing to the least of these, their actions speak hope. We ate Ugandan pizza together, shared our struggles, wins, and war stories of living life on the other side of the globe.  It was good. Brad and Pam have 2 sons and one daughter, all are grown and serving the Lord.  It was their last night in Kampala for sometime, so we felt privileged they would chose it to spend with us.  At times, Wendy and I struggle to know if we are continuing to be good parents, making good choices with the time we have left with our girls.  A seasoned veteran of missions once told me, “Never underestimate the sacrifice your children have made and continue to make.”  He said it as I asked him for a word of advice.  He then turned to our two oldest daughters, Emma and Annie, and said, “And never underestimate the sacrifice your parents have made.”  Last night, Brad and Pam said many things, but one stuck out the most.  We were making our way to the parking lot, and Brad turned to me, looked at me straight in the eyes and said this, “You need to know something, both you and Wendy are amazing parents.”  It was difficult not crying right then and there.  

My friends, this was not just a word of encouragement, it was a word of hope, true hope.  Thank you Brad and Pam for loving on us the way you did that evening.  When I stop and reflect on all the goodness God has placed in our lives, I'm most grateful of the hope He speaks to us through others.  It is in those moments, I believe God smiles.  

PRAISE THROUGH THE PAIN

Some of you know I have a love/hate relationship with running.  I love it because it is a release of so much.  I’ve often called it my “saving grace”.  The hate comes because of the pain it brings.  Running doesn’t come and has never come natural.  It was a discipline God brought into my life a year or so before we came to Uganda.  Then, I had no idea how valuable it would become. 

Over the years, running has challenged me, pushed me, and a few times almost killed me. Uganda’s terrain and climate isn’t exactly west central Illinois, this would be where the challenge and pushing play a role.  Crazy Kampala definitely lives up to its’ name in regards to the traffic element.  Let’s just say pedestrians don’t have the right away.  I’ve been knocked by more exterior mirrors than I care to remember; battle scars and souvenirs.  Every time I finish with a run, Wendy asks me “So how was it?”  My answers never vary…it is either a good run or a brutal one.  For me, there’s no in between.       

Lately, life in Uganda has felt like a run…it’s either good, or just plain brutal.  For those who have lived in a developing country, you know this far to well.   But let’s face it, life is full of challenges regardless of your residence. There are good days and not so good days.  Maybe I could add though, challenges are relative.  For some it’s not having a microwave, for others it’s sleeping on an empty stomach.  And then there are relational challenges. These can be the most painful, and also most damaging depending on the situation.  Only if our yes could be yes and our no, no…oh how the world would be different. 

People from both sides of the globe have been admiring the growth and success of FNC.  Let me acknowledge the true cause of FNC’s progress…God and God alone.  I honestly have no worldly explanation for what God continues to do here.  Not one of us is truly qualified for what we do.  Still God does His thing here amongst us and through us.  What most people don’t know, or just haven’t vocalized, is what challenges are we facing today?  What is the single most obstacle standing in the way of forward progress?  It’s a fair question and one, which deserves a clear answer. 

Ryan Johnson, a recent visitor, and now a serious ambassador for FNC and true friend, served selflessly and compiled a short video, which truly tells the story of how FNC became FNC.  The video also contains footage of our current facilities, some of our teachers testimony and the mountain that continues to stare us down.  But more than any of those things, it shows God’s continual hand and provision, which allows us to be us… Loving the least of these. Words are powerful.  Pictures are powerful.  Songs are also powerful.  My hope is all who witness this creation are moved.  For me it was a reminder…to praise through the pain. 

A BIT LONGER

I was recently introduced to a band who's been around since 2001...and it wasn't even a song or person which peaked my interest...it was a documentary called "May It Last".  A little late to the party would be an understatement.  The Avett Brothers, or Scott and Seth Avett began with humble beginnings, always wondering when they might have a number one song.  In 2008, they were invited to play in front of a Nashville executive from a major recording label.  After playing, they were asked an interesting question. "How many of your songs do you think you want to record?"  The Brothers answer was simple and on point, "All of them!"  Then they were asked one more question, "Would you all consider recording other people's songs?"  In which they quickly replied, "No."  Suffice to say, the deal never happened.  It took a bit longer then they wished, but patience usually pays.  In 2016, The Avett Brothers recorded their first number one hit, "Ain't No Man." And to this day, continue to tour and fill arenas all over the world.

Recently, a team from the states paid FNC a visit.  It was much more than a visit to say the least.  Together, the team served tirelessly on medical check ups, workshops (financial training, how to deal with trauma, and the 5 love languages).  Many other services were provided, gifts given, and lots of love shared.  Then there was the construction of a new classroom, one we desperately needed.  Man power was plenty, tools were sufficient (eventually), but one can safely say we underestimated the amount of time the project was going to take.  Obstacles and unforeseen challenges often delay our goals, but when we are persistent, having an attitude of not giving up, most of our life goals will come to fruition.  A man once said, "If your dreams don't scare you, your not dreaming big enough."
I've often seen, what separates success from failure, is sticking it out a bit longer.  

To close, I thought it would be most appropriate to share just a few of the pics that were gathered while the team was with us...

Our Amazing Team!

Pat Benson Teaching Financial 201

Holly loving on Ayiko

Loading up for the Ugandan Home Depot

Workshop Time

David, Charles and Gordon...Construction at it's best!

Goodbyes

More Goodbyes

And More...

Goodbyes are always difficult for us here...but have been notorious for being challenging for our teams who come to visit as well.  Thank you from the bottom of our hearts for all you did, and continue to do for FNC...and for sticking it out a bit longer.

Finishing Touches on the New Classroom

LESSON LEARNED

Today the FNC staff turned to Romans 5 for its' daily dose of the Word...many verses were mentioned and hashed through more than once, but one seemed to come back to us time and again, verse 3.  "...because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope."

Just seconds ago we lost power (I'm using a laptop).  Wendy was down making copies, because the power had been out for nearly 3 days in the upper compound, and you guessed it, power went out down here...a little annoying to say the least.  But, we all can agree here in Uganda, we'd much rather be without power than without water.  No question!  When those in more developed worlds hear the phrase, "Water is Life" it's meaning is a bit watered down (sorry, couldn't resist) from those of us who live in less developed parts.  Don't feel sorry for us, I'm just stating a fact. Wendy and I were just in the states for nearly 10 weeks and not one time was I concerned about water, much less power.  And if I were being completely honest, I've gotten to kind of enjoy the moments when power is out...there's a solitude and silence which follows...you can choose to be annoyed, or choose to appreciate.  I'm slowly learning the latter.

Losing power has little to nothing to do with persevering.  But let me tell you a short story about a little girl whose arm was completely broken for one day shy of a week, and barely complained about it.  Her name is Faith Ayio, and if you are reading this and you are her sponsor, well then, get ready to be impressed...not by anything FNC did, but by this little girl!  Faith is 6 years of age, and is in 2nd grade...(in fact I just had to double check with Diana, our head administrator to make sure she was actually in second grade...the girl is bright!  It must run in the family because her older sisters whom also attend FNC are just as smart...if only God was so good to me in that department!)  It wasn't till Friday of last week did we discover from an X-ray that her arm was actually broken, IN TWO PLACES!  Faith had fallen on wet stairs at her home the past Saturday, and to her mothers defence, Faith's arm really didn't look broken.  Of course Faith complained some about the discomfort but never shed so much as a tear about it, at least not at school.  Tough would be an understatement.  Suffering and persevering, for sure!  Faith is now in a much needed cast applied by one of our local hospitals here in Kampala.  You should have seen little Faith's face after she received her treatment...in fact, here's a picture...I believe it tells the rest of the story.

All of us at one time have fallen, maybe not in the physical sense (though I'm sure we all have in that way as well), but in the spiritual sense.  All of us at one time have been broken, whether it be emotional or physical, and sometimes both.  As children of God, sometimes we fail to get the proper treatment we need, when we need it.  Usually it has to do with our pride, not asking for help.   Sometimes, we're just afraid.  I've been there, in all of it.  Then other times the help we ask for comes from the wrong source, be it a wrong person or substance.  Thus, we compound our fall till we have no other choice than to fall again, this time on our knees, and ask the True Source for the help we so desperately need.  I thank God He's ever waiting on me to fall forward, humble myself, and ask him for my healing.

Faith was different.  Faith tried to let her family know, she even tried to tell us, "Something is wrong with me." Why did it take almost a week for someone to act, take the time, to do the right thing?  Because we weren't listening.  Oh, I'm not suggesting anyone ignored the situation...but a week???  How many opportunities have I missed because I failed to listen, whether it be to a friend, family member, complete stranger, work mate, God, a little girl with a broken arm?  A lesson learned? I hope so.  For all of us here.  Maybe the power needs to go out more often.